I'm heavy with the weight of myself
Dusty with my own sin and unbelief.
I'm steadfast in my pursuit of lonely things
Of the light that You so tenderly harvested in me.
I shrug You off--
And put on me.
I let the pain grow strong,
And nurse the tears till they grow bitter.
There in the bleakness of my sorrow,
I wail and weep—
Lamenting over the silent heartbeats
Of my stillborn dreams.
"Why?" I scream in anguish.
With palms marked
By your steadfast pursuit of broken things
You allure me-
Keep me close until the tremblings cease,
And let your Life overflow
"Because, Beloved, I am teaching you to long for better things."
And there-beside my muted dreams