Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Where are You?

Since March 2006 I have been in the business of doing hard things. Things my heart doesn't want to but my head says, "You MUST. If you want to live, you must. If you want to love, you must."
I am in a fight with God, who graciously convicts me with the Spirit he so willingly placed in me. I am in a fight because I'm doing things that don't feel good but I know are good. I am in a fight because my heart hurts and he says he is my Comforter. "You're not comforting me!!" If you were, then you would be here, physically. Letting me sob into your shoulder.
You said it was best that you left so the Helper could come. So the Second Advocate could dwell here. But that's not what I want right now. Honest. I want you. Physically you. I don't care if it's you with blood dripping down your face and nail marks in your hands and feet. I just need you. Right here. Right now. Your hugs. Your comfort. 
I am a friend of Physical Touch and I can't stand that you're not here right now with me during my second heart ache in a year. I don't want a band-aid. I don't want words or hymns. Or encouragement. I want you. Physically you. 

"My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me?"


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